Are You Hurt? 20 Formulas for a Forbearing Heart

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: "If the Muslim relates with the people and forbears when they hurt him, he is better than the Muslim who would not relate with the people nor forbear over the hurt they direct to him." (At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullah) mentioned the virtues of returning forbearance and kindness when envy and hurt were directed toward us. He summarized twenty formulas that will help us respond to that hurt with the character the Prophet ﷺ described as superior.

Table of Contents

1. Ponder about Their Creator
2. Looking Inwards
3. Remember the Great Rewards
4. Forgiveness is Sweet
5. Retaliation Brings Demean
6. Rewards are in the Form of Deeds
7. Thoughts of Reprisal is Unhealthy
8. Retaliating and Gratifying the Self
9. Recompense for Patience is Guaranteed
10. Allah Likes the Forbearing Servant
11. Patience is Half of Eemaan
12. Forbearance is Self-Control
13. Don't Fight It
14. Forbearance Holds Back Aggression
15. Avoid Worse Cases
16. Revenge is Self-Serving
17. Do Not Lose Atonement for Sins
18. Preserve Your Forces
19. Gaining the Edges
20. Earning for Good Deeds

Why Forbearance Rather Than Withdrawal

Because the easier response to being hurt by people is to withdraw from them — and the hadith explicitly ranks that response below staying engaged and choosing forbearance instead.

Who It Is For

Anyone currently dealing with envy, criticism or mistreatment from others, and anyone who wants practical tools for maintaining good character under provocation.

Related Reading

• The Principle of Love & Desire — the same author on love and desire
• Concise Advices of Ibn Taymiyyah — concise advices of Ibn Taymiyyah
• Nourishment of The Hearts & Relief of Sorrows — nourishment of the hearts and relief of sorrows